Day 153- Amor de Mar
This afternoon, as the tiny needles were being plucked from my legs, the ocean’s water dissipated and I returned to the room full of people receiving community acupuncture.
Moments before, I had been swimming through a metaphor which gracefully illustrated the sentiments I’ve held for my love—my ex.
I felt I’d been beached for a while, but that home was in the deep waters of our vast oceans of love, and I was now allowed to return to our unified utopia.
I pondered what sea creature I felt like, holding true to being at home in the water, but also temporarily able to thrive on land.
As my acupuncturist removed what she thought was the last pin, I pointed out the one that remained in my big toe. It was the first time she’d poked me there, and she’d given me specific instructions around this point prior to falling asleep. As she removed the last needle, she exhaled the point’s name in Chinese. Now extremely curious, I asked her what it meant. She entertained my inquiry and told me the name in english was sea lion.
A sea lion! That’s what animal I was reaching for in my lovely ocean daydream.
I came home to read about what a sea lion represents, and what their relationship is like with water and land. I found this:
“Seals spend much of their lives in the sea, but they give birth on land. This shows us that there are two necessary things that help fulfill our dreams and visions. These are formed deep within us, and are nurtured through the power of our ability to envision them using all our senses. They are most easily made ‘real’ by us when we implement practical and material acts. A lot of the time when us humans are ‘creating’ something, the feeling side of things is absent.” – Ina Woolcott
Ummm … Wow!
Just yesterday I wrote:
“My thoughts close that portal, directing me back into my internal space of creation.
But I believe it is wise to know when to stop creating and appreciate what was called in. So I stay open in my heart, and silent in my mind.”
The way I see it, I beached myself for a while. I took myself out of our ocean of love, so that I could give birth to this project and the many other endeavors that blissfully fill my time on Earth.
My heart swells with gratitude that the ocean never dried up—not for either of us. But we had been drowning together, and both of us needed time and space to breathe.
Ina Woolcott says:
“Seals swim both below and above water, giving them the ability to experience both the inner and outer worlds.
They teach those with this totem how to flow, how to hear, and how to discover the deeper mysteries of their true nature. Seals are keepers of wisdom. They reveal to us what is hidden deep within ourselves, and teach us how to integrate our imagination with the reasoning power of the intellect. This will give balance and harmony on all levels. “
The time spent apart from my ex—my love—has taught me a lot. Stepping day by day through this celibacy journey, at times struggling to comprehend why I laid beached while I longed to be swimming in that sea of love, I’ve learned how to balance romance in my life. I expect to play both in the deep and shallow waters of this vast ocean, and perhaps someday I will again lay on the hot beach of creation. But for now, I am exploring the depths of this emotion—this innocent and REAL love.
It’s true that I needed to withdraw from romantic relationships for a period of time in order to gain perspective on their influence in my world, and the first four months of this project spent in romantic solitude were very important in my process and development. About a month ago, I choose to begin to engage again romantically, which led to profound insight into my past. Now, I am faced with one of the most exquisite opportunities I could have imagined. Actually, I did imagine/dream/create just this.
Once again I am allowed to dive into the ocean of our shared, Divine love. But this time I will swim in my own space, limbs able to move freely, lungs able to inhale the sweet air of life while we splash and play, together at last.
My journey has just forked, and a whole new adventure is about to begin.
LOVE TO ALL