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Posted by on Oct 27, 2013 in Attachment, Expectations, Lessons, Love | 0 comments

Happy In Me

Happy In Me

After having the last of a certain type of unhealthy relationship in 2007, I set out to educate myself on how to have successful partnership.

It’s been a lot of years since then … most of which were spent single, attempting to approach relationship, realizing the futility in the inappropriate pairing, and bailing on nearly every guy (unless they [gratefully] bailed on me first).

During those years of dating, I had a motto: Let them reveal themselves to me—do not project onto them who I want them to be.

I had adopted this mentality after recognizing my debilitating tendency to wish, hope, and assume this person I was talking to was “the one.” That’s how I’d end up jumping into a relationship, falling head over heals “in love,” and wind up breaking hearts or broken-hearted.

This motto helped me to reel in my hopeless romantic heart and simply date. It would quickly become apparent that whoever I was dating was, in fact, not who I wanted to be with, and I would be able to get out unscathed. So would he. Usually.

After finding an eligible partner I shortened the motto.

“Let him be him and me be me, and we can play together happily!”

This allowed for independence and a recognition of our ability to unite forces to create a lovely yin-yang whole.

Just last night I remembered this motto.

Turns out I dropped it for the better part of a year.

In doing so, I accidentally slipped back into meshing needs and desires, inadvertently teetering on the brink of co-dependence.

Thank God for last night.

Now the motto has shifted again: “Let him be him and me be me, and we’ll see.”

I’m partially joking.

But in all fairness he’s faring quite well.

It’s I who has the issue with control.

So really, this saying liberates me from my own oblivion. Instead of demanding my stifling particularities on my partner, I can see them for what they are—MINE. Then I can weigh his action or inaction against my need and see if it’s worth causing a stink about or not.

It usually is not.

This has been a rather refreshing realization amidst a sleepless, stuffed-up night. Frustration and sinuses ganged up on me, but meditation and Reiki relieved the pressure pent up in my head and in my heart.

I’ve returned to my grateful state, humbled and healed from the night’s heady lesson.

With love in my heart and peace in my mind, I’m now clearly and powerfully able to send …








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